Hindered Prayers: Are There Consequences for Being a Husband?

http://bible.org/seriespage/obligations-christian-husbands-their-wives-1-peter-37

I've been thinking hard about the subject of "hindered prayers." What are those things that God's Word specifically say will prevent or hinder my prayers to Him? Peter gives an example related to a husband's responsibility for the conduct of his wife. If her conduct is going poorly, it is the husband's responsibility and the consequence is hindered prayer.

In seeking guidance on this, I found the above link. A very comprehensive article on the subject, and a must-read for husbands and husbands-to-be. The author's interpretations are well laid out and justified, and he breaks down the verse in detail. Not a lot of direct application examples, but the spirit of the things Peter describes are all there.

Directed vs. Drifting: An Analogy

To use a model from the Gospels...

"The Kingdom of God is like a transportation network across a continent.  One man who wanted to travel invested his time and money into building a railroad network.  He planned out where he wanted the tracks to go, dug out good footings, laid a heavy foundation of gravel and concrete sleepers, and purchased quality steel rails.  He knew the train wouldn't be able to go side-to-side, and could only follow the route he planned, but he knew it could do so very fast, and carry many passengers and cargo.

Another man decided he didn't want to spend the time or money on a railroad system, so he purchased a 4x4 truck. He could go anywhere he wanted in the country, across mud and ice and grass and trails and roads. But he quickly found that he couldn't travel faster than the train, as the bumpiness made his girlfriend car sick, and he couldn't bring many people with him because he was cheap and didn't get the King cab model".



Application: Directed living is tough. It requires an investment of time, and probably some money or other resources.  In the long term though, it provides liberty with structure. A directed Christian can't just "go" wherever he or she feels like. There are limits they place on themselves (i.e. rails) to ensure that they can be the most efficient in a certain direction.

A drifting Christian (or any other person) chooses to have "liberty" without structure. While it appears they have more freedom to do what they like (watch certain movies, pursue certain relationships, spend their time and money in more ways), they in fact are unknowingly placing limits on themselves.  The truck cannot achieve the same speeds as a well-built train, and cannot carry the same load either.

Specific examples:

A marriage (with limits on intimacy outside the relationship) is like a train; a series of non-committal dating relationships becomes like the truck.

A purpose-driven career is like the train (focused attention on professional growth to show God's glory), while a career-drifter (who doesn't want to commit; distinct from someone who is making a deliberate career change) is like the truck.

A Christian who dedicates time each week to study a particular section of the Bible is like the train (limiting other activities to focus on that study), whereas a drifting Christian simply takes what comes across their path .

Who will you be? The train, or the truck?

Directed vs. Drifting: Where are Your Going?

Back in March I gave an evening study called "Directed or Drifting", the basis of which was a blog post by Cal Newport over at Study Hacks. I tooled the viewgraphs and topic to the Christian arena, as the point of Cal's message is applicable to every area of our lives. And in fact, I think that is the most important part of the message: we can't be a directed Christian and not be directed in other areas. We are either all in, or we're out.

As a Christian, we need a handful of things to help us in the path of "directedness." I'm sure there are other nuances and actions here, but I sum them up in this way:
1) We need goals of who we intend to be in Christ;
2) We need clear and measurable objectives regarding those goals;
3) We need some criteria that define what we will and/or will not do, and;
4) We need Biblical accountability to help us consistently achieve those things.

And lest you think I'm some great rabbi, I learned these tenants from Chip Ingram of Living on the Edge in his amazing sermon series "Balancing Life's Demands."

Let's start with the first: Who do I intend to be?

If I don't know who I want to be, I'll have a hard time achieving that state.  Joshua 24:15 "But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord." While the Holy Spirit helps me in the process of sanctification, having a clear picture of the end results helps me judge how I'm doing, and gives me hope for what the future holds.Set some times aside to pray for direction and wisdom, and write out some ideas about who you want to be in Christ. Here are some examples that I am committed to myself:

• By Christ's grace, I will be a great husband (Eph 5:25)
• I want to be a wise mentor to several people growing in faith (1 Thes 2:8)
• I want to be a respected nuclear engineer (Col 3:23 / Gen 39:1-23)
• I want to be a successful Naval officer (Luke 7:1-10)
• I want to know God deeply through study of His Word (2Pet 3:18 / John 17:1-26)

These ideals are biblically based (greatness in relationships, profession, and faith), are specific to me, and were arrived at over time through prayer. I didn't specify "how" I'll achieve these, but for each one I can picture what that might look like. Each is achievable through the work of the Holy Spirit in my life, focusing and energizing me in various activities.

Some specific "criteria" or "measures" I've come up with associated with each goal above:

Being a great husband means:

• Spending dedicated time each week with Brigette
• Doing activities that a spiritual leader in the home would do (prayer, study together, etc.)
• Being faithful stewards of our finances and resources

Being a successful Naval officer means:

• Achieving necessary professional wickets such as expected billets and roles.
• Gaining expertise in my warfare area
• Doing good work
• Taking opportunities to further my professional education

Being a respected nuclear engineer means:

• Achieving educational/professional credentials
• Being able to accurately perform skills associated with my job (calculations, research, etc.)
• Taking on challenging work
• Having people come to me because they know they'll find answers and help
• Being able to "defend" my resolution of any tensions between faith and science

As a practical point, I have each of these written as a note in Evernote which I review periodically (about once a month for each) to see how I'm doing in each area. I try to ask myself a couple questions for self-assessment. 

1) Since I last reviewed this area, what have I done that reflects my growth in this area (a success)?

2) What have I done to grow further in this area?

3) What am I now doing to grow this area?

4) What additional help do I need in this area? (mentoring, resources, experiences, opportunities)

5) Who is helping me to assess this area?

6) What is one thing I will commit to doing between now and my next self-assessment to grow?

I try to keep track of my notes so I can see progress. A calendar reminder in Google flags me at the beginning of each week to tell me what I'm going to review that week on a rotating basis. 

Total time: ~ 1 hour to develop goals and measures, ~ 30 minutes each week to review.

Resources: Something to capture what your goals are, something to track your progress.

Next up: Pre-decisions.